“Wenn du nicht will was man dir tut dann fugs auch keinem anderen zu”

(Whatever you do not want what is done to you, do not do it to others)

No one wants others to dominate their lives; to take away their freedom, their will to rule their own being. That is one of the reasons why no one wants to be incarcerated. The employees of the jails do not care about the lives of prisoners. They enforce their will, their directions, their feelings, opinions, their anger upon the helpless ones. They are like sadistic, angry parents who punish their children.

Even infants demand and exhibit their feelings. They cry or scream when they want something and continue until they find comfort.

As adults, we cannot become someone else and carry out their wishes, have their outlook or personality.

As Jews we learn from our parents, their faith, their religious views, and more. We take from them that which is comfortable for us as individuals and adjust in our own unique fashion. We do not suddenly become someone else. We are ourselves, whoever we are.

Freedom is precious for all adults and we want to be our own individuals, not be dominated by outsiders who do not understand nor care about us as self directed human beings. As adults, we shy away from folk who want to change us, take on their beliefs, their ideas, their demands. Our personality is ours, just as our appearance belongs to us. As normal human beings, we shy away from domineering people who attempt to push their demands and personalities on us. Our personalities, like our tastes, are our own. Those who are against us must remember we will not change any more than we can be seventeen years old again when we have reached our seventieth birthday. We must appreciate who we are, regardless of our age. As the years pass, we learn much more than we did at a much earlier age. We have experienced more, met more people, and lived through more situations than we did in our early youth. We have adjusted in our own way to new and changing experiences We have become wiser, sometimes through our earlier mistakes, and have altered our thoughts and actions accordingly; our knowledge has grown, as have our years. We have brought with us the old and the new and have expanded our insight. We have adapted to the changes that have taken place with the years of our lives. We must remember that hatred toward us, as Jewish people, has not changed, and that we have often been the scapegoats in situations that are irrational. We cannot change those who hate us with a passion! They have often been trained from infancy that we are their enemies and deserve to be annihilated. They are convinced that we do not deserve to live! We must not agree with the anti-semites, our enemies, or attempt to please them! This we must remember! Do not delude yourself and believe the propaganda of our enemies!! As the old proverb states: “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it follows as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Lehitraot.

Dr. Ursula A. Falk is a psychotherapist in private practice and the author of several books and articles.

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