Isolation of Elderly Women

Widows

It should not surprise anyone that the Torah (the Bible) repeatedly admonishes us to be kind and helpful to all widows. Evidently mistreatment of widows was already common in the ancient world, and is even more so today. Judaism teaches its followers to treat widows and orphans in a kindly manner. There are numerous references to the status of widows in Jewish literature. Some examples are these: Exodus22:21;Deuteronomy 22:17: Mishnah Torah 6:10; Bavah Meziah 115 a 8, and many more. 

Few American Jews are familiar with these verses and admonitions. Instead American Jews are as wiling as the general American population to insult, humiliate, disregard, ignore, and hold in contempt widows and orphans and others who have no power, no friends, and no money. Some time ago we were invited to the home of a friend. It so happened that two Jewish widows were sitting at our table. One of these ladies introduced herself by telling us that her husband, a wealthy lawyer, had died two months earlier and that since then she has been treated "like a skunk at a picnic." She told us that the rabbi in her congregation no longer greeted her, although he praised and supported her husband for years . Her husband was wealthy and held many offices at their congregation. Yet, after his death, she, his widow, was "not given the time of day." Former friends no longer invited her and almost all members of the congregation no longer greeted her. The office staff at the synagogue treated her rudely and, at the social affairs at the synagogue, she sat alone, and no one talked to her. In short, she was now a widow and no longer deserved to be treated with the respect her husband's money allotted to her. 

Exploiting widows is an old American custom. The Puritans burned widows to death after calling them witches. This gave the powerful among them opportunity to steal the property of the so called witches. The German population did the same to the Jews among them as they murdered European Jews by the millions and then stole all their property. The Arabs seek to do the same by proclaiming that Jews have no right to live. We met other Jewish and non-Jewish widows who were also subject to cruelty and contempt by those who knew them before they were alone but disregarded and even insulted those most defenseless when the opportunity arose. Our poor are equally mistreated despite the teachings of the Torah. Worst of all are the American supporters of the Muslims in this country who shout in the streets, "Kill all Jews." Young widows whose children are still school age are faced with the need to have a father figure in the house. Sociologists have repeatedly shown that juvenile delinquency is greatly enhanced in homes without a father. Yet remarriage does not guarantee that the second husband can adequately support children not his own, particularly since many second husbands have children with a previous wife.

Money is another issue confronting many a widow. Mothers who have to find a job while their children are in school must nevertheless find someone who will prevent their children from becoming "latchkey" children who come home from school to fend for themselves as their mother is not home from work. Furthermore, many women cannot earn enough from a job to cover the cost of a baby sitter, whatever the they earn. This dilemma forces numerous younger mothers to live on government relief payments.

There are, of course, also male widowers. These men are seldom in charge of their children without finding a second wife. Having more money and higher status employment helps men gain access to women looking for a second husband .

The difficulties are augmented by the need for sexual satisfaction, which, in our culture, is both condemned and elevated.

In sum, widowhood is a frightful dilemma which causes great distress for a large number of American women.

Shalom u'vracha.

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