Intermarriages & Other Threats to Secular Judaism

Changes in the American Jewish Family  

In the 1930's, almost all American Jews, other than the German Jews of the 19th century, came from blue-collar workers or from homes whose fathers owned small businesses. These Jews continued to attend the same Orthodox synagogues known to their parents and grandparents. Yet attendance by second-generation American Jews at religious services began to be sporadic, as many Orthodox beliefs were challenged by American-born Jews. 

Those Jews who were married in the 1940's and 1950's were interested in Conservative Judaism because it allowed individual choices concerning many of the orthodox rituals without abandoning tradition as did Reform Judaism, which was brought to the United States by German Jews. Reform Judaism had been brought to the United States by German Jewish immigrants in the nineteenth century. German Reform resembled American Conservatism but became much more radical in the United States. Both Conservative and Reform Judaism allowed women to participate equally in the religious rituals, thereby reducing the all male religious dominations and creating a pattern of female liberation within the family.

Furthermore, Conservative and Reform Judaism encouraged women to attend colleges and reduce and/or eliminate their erstwhile dependence on the income of men. In mid-twentieth century the America Jewish family became smaller. Both the decline in the birthrate but also the reduction of the three generation family to two generations created the opportunities for vertical and horizontal mobility, which became universal in the twenty-first century. Thus in the 1950's Jewish men and some women were becoming teachers, white collar clerks and salespeople. Moreover, the Jewish birthrate began to decline in the 1940's and 1950's. By 1953, fifty percent of American Jews produced two or fewer children, and by 1940 American Jews had become more successful than any other immigrant group. 

As their material success increased, American Jews placed less importance on families. They were then more willing to leave home and live independently. This means that those American values such as financial and professional success helped in weakening the family ties which were the solid foundation of immigrant life. Likewise synagogue life changed as wealth increased and women became more active and more accepted as leaders among all Americans, including Jews.

By 1990, women had become synagogue officers, major donors, and decision makers. The National Jewish Population Survey of 1990 showed that by then the most common Jewish household consisted of one person living alone. The next most common was two adults, and third was a household of two adults with at least one child under 18 living at home. ` Jewish birthrates are extraordinary low. In 1990, 93% of Jewish women 18-24 had not yet had children. As a result the replacement level among Jews is too low to create a next generation large enough to guarantee the perpetuation of American Judaism. The high intermarriage rate of American Jews compounds the problem of perpetuating Judaism. 

That rate is now (2023) about 72%, so that the overall intermarriage rate for Jews of all ages is about 55%. This development is related to the acceptance of American Jews as marriage partners by non-Jews, as the erstwhile opposition by non-Jews concerning marriage of their children to Jews has declined considerably. Moreover, Jewish-Christian intermarriages are now subject to dual identification, in that both Christian and Jewish symbols are prevalent in such households. Thus, a Christmas tree and a Menorah may both be present. 

Divorce was once very rare among Jews and was viewed as a scandal. American divorce in general has increased and become as common as one parent families. In 2019, eighteen to nineteen divorces were recorded for every 100 Jewish marriages. Therefore one third of Jewish children live in homes touched by divorce. These divorces often involve the grandparents of children from divorced mothers who may need to work to support themselves and their children despite the obligation of fathers to continue the support of children after divorce. 

The American Jewish family is further fragmented by the upper middle class obsession with college. About 80% of Jewish adolescent high school graduates go to college. Many leave the parental home to go to a college out of town. A considerable number never return to live in their hometowns because they find jobs elsewhere or marry someone in a faraway state. Older adults, both Jewish and not Jewish, have moved from New York and other northern states in large numbers and have settled in Florida, Arizona, and California. Those who have moved from the northeastern states to the south are often grandparents who need to adjust to grandchildren who are not Jewish. Grandparents have become important in the Jewish and non-Jewish American family because three out of every five mothers are working. Nearly 40% of Jewish women are professionals. It is important to remember that even in the European Jewish family, many women worked outside the home, albeit they were not college educated but sold goods from pushcarts. This was also true of Jewish immigrants to America. Both in Eastern Europe and in America, an orthodox Jewish man studied the Talmud while the wife had to earn enough to insure the survival of the family. In the twenty-first century the number of married men who study while the wife works is minimal but it does exist. 

Shalom u'vracha.

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